Every man’s fantasy includes, at least on some level, the perfect manspace in which to view the movies he loves. (This fantasy may go on to include Swedish Bikini Teams or truckloads of tangy pork ribs or the re-sprouting of long-lost hair, but in all ways it must begin with a movie media room.)
I’ve kept a portfolio hidden from my wife of “some day projects” to achieve this perfect manspace. It began with nearby Abt Electronics in Glenview, Ill., which used to maintain a series of Truly Boss Media Room displays, featuring the kind of excess of equipment and overindulgence of design that is engineered to stimulate the pleasure center of every male until he’s a drooling mess with an open wallet. Abt is the first place I ever saw a gaudy, wonderful, tricked-out media room that put the theater in home theater: several rows of stadium seats, velvet curtains, armrests and cup holders … Oh, I saw what was possible and was made glad.
Abt doesn’t maintain as many cool media rooms as it used to, but that’s OK: I’ve refined my expectation of what such a thing should look like, having narrowed my preferences to two options decidedly not on the menu at Abt.
First, may I introduce The Batcave:
There’s some question whether this beauteous creation is simply a little showroom showmanship from vendor Elite Home Theater Seating, whether it actually exists in a home, or is merely a nice computer-generated dream. Little matter to me; now that I have seen it, I know that money can make it happen.
Just today, though, I’ve found the first viable contender for the Batcave, and it has me all atwitter because not only is it a real, concrete, in-service theater, it was homemade by a crafty maker-ninja in Switzerland, who has copious photos of the construction and final product at his own site.
Behold, the Nautilus!
It’s got the panache of Disney’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, with all the Victorian steampunk of Alan Moore & Kevin O’Neill’s “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” A fine place to take a brandy and another viewing of “Iron Man,” wouldn’t you say?
UPDATE: I found another Nautilus-themed home movie theater. How cool is this planet?