Things that make me absurdly happy IV

After picking up the boys from school the other day, Older Boy asked:

“Daddy, why are naked pictures so popular?”

Well, here it is, I thought. Time to wade into the riptide of adolescence, explaining why boys feel “kinda funny” when they see attractive girls, and what the heck all those parts are for. Third grade is a little sooner than I expected, but kids are growing up faster these days after all, and I had to be able to cope, even if my knuckles were turning white around the steering wheel.

Before I swam into these swirling waters, I took the temperature of the ocean with my toe. “What kind of naked pictures?” I asked.

“Like Michelangelo,” said Older Boy. “Sculptures and paintings and stuff. Why are they always naked?”

“Ohhhhh,” I said. “Art.” Heartbeat resumed to normal, blood coursed through knuckles again. “Because bodies are difficult to draw. Back then, Michelangelo didn’t have superheroes and other fun stuff to draw, so he practiced on naked people.”

This answer satisfied, and the conversation turned to sports.

Come to think of it, though, I wouldn't mind seeing Superman and Wonder Woman try this.

Michelangelo: Lacking in superheroes, but up to his tuchus in exhibitionists


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5 responses to “Things that make me absurdly happy IV

  1. Kat

    Talk about dodging a bullet!

    But to be fair, I had to attend the horrid “Growing Up is a Good Time” after school while in the third grade. Although to be fair, it should have been titled, “Growing Up is a Really Weird, F’ed Up Time.”

    • jdrewscott

      Good grief! I hope it was promptly followed up by a copy of “Free To Be You & Me.” Nothing like a dose of Marlo Thomas to set everything aright in the prepubescent world.

  2. Carol

    Yikes! Well-played. Score one for the parent.

  3. Anneke

    A bit like my 5 y/o son who wondered what “girl’s privates look like” and suggest that we look it up on the internet.

    Fortunatly I do have a circa 1975 copy of “What’s Happening To Me” that I could, um, whip out, for the occasion.

    • jdrewscott

      Well, who needed the book? You had a built-in audio-visual presentation at the ready. You could have ensured he would never have asked another question again. That would have shut down the inquisitive little jabberjaw act, you betcha.

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